we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
