My liver just broke up with me...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
