I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
MIDGETS
????
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
