He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
