I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
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But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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