You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
