My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
