he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
