No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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