My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
