I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize