nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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