I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
