I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
