I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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