just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
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You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
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I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You made out with two different species that night
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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