if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
