You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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