I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
