...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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