I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
