I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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