i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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