I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize