You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
