So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
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