So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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