i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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