once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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