That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
