I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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