Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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