u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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