yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
