Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
