Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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