OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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