help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
