so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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