we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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