This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
