I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
