last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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