what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
