I want to stick my p in your. b.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she told me i tasted like america
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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