just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
