I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
