Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
