Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it's great music for shaving your balls
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
