She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
