bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
