That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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