wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
