I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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