ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
