sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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