12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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