i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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