Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
