The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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