You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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