Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
