She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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