my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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