I am puke
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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