i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize