My first STD was from a foam party
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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