Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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