I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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