Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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