I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
