It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
