look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
